- me: I should go shower now
- (five minutes later)
- (another five minutes later)
- (yet another five minutes later)
- (more five minute intervals)
- someone: (goes into the bathroom)
- me: wow fuck you I was JUST about to go take a shower
- period: WAKE UP ASSHOLE, YOU GOT CRAMPS.
- period: How bout an entire chocolate cake for breakfast?
- period: How's that back pain? Feeling better? Let's fix that.
- period: Corneas glance by a VS magazine on the table. Instantly horny.
- period: Find a cookie as big as a house and eat it.
- period: See a male specimen of any kind. Instantly horny.
- period: Where's your Tic Tac box filled with ibuprofen?
- period: Got things to do? Don't care. Sleep.
- period: See a female specimen of any kind. Instantly horny.
- period: For dinner you're eating an entire bag of Reese's Peanut Butter Cups.
- period: Breeze blows by. Instantly horny.
- period: You didn't like those brand new underwear right?
- period: Yell at a puppy.
- period: Close eyes and wait for repeat tomorrow.
My parents are so fucking stupid they’re sitting here bitching about the news and gay rights and my dad said that Obama’s only signing whatever bill it is to get the gay vote and my mom’s like “I know. But it’s wrong! The bible says so!” And then there was something on the news showing a black church and my dad goes, “Of course the blacks are against it because all they want to do is go infiltrate (YES HE SAID INFILTRATE) the white women and make zebras.” Then she says that “God said so right in the bible, he made men and woman to go forth to multiply. Nothing about zebras either.” I don’t even understand how I’ve been raised by such ignorant, racist people. #Iwasn’t #Iwasraisedbymyself #Andmysister #Andtheinternet hashtag hashtag hashtag
- Obama: I like Coke
- Fox News: Obama Declares War on Pepsi
